My Planned Parenthood Secret

I grew up in an ardently pro-life family.  It was a regular topic of conversation and prayer in our house. When I was 15, I wrote a letter to our newspaper editor against abortion that got a response calling me super kid of the year.  As an adult, though, I had a guilty secret. I went to Planned Parenthood.

Image credit: Jenny Lee Silver on Flickr

Let me explain.  My husband and I had never even kissed anyone else.  We were both virgins on our wedding night.  When we got married, we knew we wanted several children.  The problem is, we also knew we wanted to wait.  Financially, we were better off than many we knew in the sense that we both had degrees and jobs.  However, we had no health insurance.

I've heard many Christians, particularly those in quiver full circles, contemptuously assume that when a couple prefers not to have a child because of their financial/healthcare situation it is because they are greedy.  We called it being responsible.  Funny how those same people are usually the ones who blame families who have kids if they need financial assistance after the kids are born...

Beyond finances, we wanted to establish our marriage with just us, to build on the foundation we had laid during our whole courtship (I grew up under Gothard, remember) before welcoming children, with the pressures as well as delight that they bring. We prayed and sought God and felt at peace with our decision to wait.

I was allergic to condoms.  Permanent measures were obviously off the table, and we didn't have a great understanding of NFP then, so I went on the pill.  Because I compulsively read things like package inserts and ingredient lists, even on shampoo bottles, I saw that it could possibly prevent implantation if for some reason I ovulated despite the pill.  I took it faithfully at the exact same time each day. The one time I went on antibiotics, we abstained for the rest of my cycle, just in case.  We did the best we knew to do.

When I went to get my prescription renewed, though, my Christian doctor (whom we paid out of pocket for) refused to prescribe the pill because he said it violated his conscience. I explained that I was married and the precautions we took to make sure it was used correctly.  He denied me the prescription anyway.

No insurance, we had already paid for one appointment, and I had only a few days left of pills.  Abstinence for a week or two was one thing, but not something my husband or I wanted indefinitely! So, feeling horribly guilty, I took a friend's advice and went to Planned Parenthood.  Oh, the shame!  I had always been taught that they were nothing more than evil, greedy abortionists who were a part of a malevolent plot to give promiscuous teens useless contraceptives behind their parents' backs so that they could profit off of more abortions.  I scrunched up my eyes, hoping that no one would see me walk in, and awaited the leering, mustache-twirling villain doctor.

Actually, she was very nice, extremely professional, and quite competent.  She even went over with me the possible risks as well as the risks for failure, and seemed pleased that I already knew the information.  (No, she didn't leer or have a mustache, twirled or otherwise).  Despite what I had heard about PP personnel deliberately deceiving women about the effectiveness of the pill, she was meticulous about making sure I knew exactly what the limitations were and the best ways to ensure that it worked.

Eventually, my husband and I both found jobs with health insurance and I chose a new doctor.  At the right time for our family, we were blessed with four children.

In this election cycle, I have heard repeatedly from my Republican friends and family that healthcare is not a right, and that contraceptives are not a part of healthcare, even if it was.  They complain bitterly that it is forcing them to pay others to be promiscuous.

The truth is that many women who use contraceptives (or eventually have an abortion) are married.  Abstinence is hard enough when single, and certainly does not make for a healthy, long-term solution in marriage.  There are also many situations where pregnancy and birth puts the mother's life in grave danger.  Severe pre-eclampsia, PCOS and other health conditions are more reasons why it is absolutely a health care issue, not merely a "lifestyle choice".

There is also recent research that shows a huge reduction in abortions among women who have access to free contraception and healthcare.  If you are pro-life, then you need to pay attention.

Besides being offensive and misogynistic, the stereotype of a woman on contraceptives being basically a prostitute is blatantly false. Republicans seem intent on perpetuating it, however.  If you want to smugly proclaim that your tax dollars shouldn't pay for birth control, go ahead, but be aware that the alternative is more abortions, more sick and dying women, and the moral, emotional and economic impact that brings.  Thank heaven that for now they have Planned Parenthood.